Just because someone writes for a whoop-ti-do publication doesn't mean they are worth anything more than the third grader next door. What it can mean is that they have better connections than the next door third grader. So in the spirit of keeping journalists honest, and to help our readers siphon through the bad to get to the good, we've given the following journalists nick-names based on their work (or lack thereof).
Gene “No Lines” Munster
Gene works for Piper Jaffray and was given the nickname “No Lines” back in 2010 when he predicted the launch of the iPad 2 would mean no lines at Apple Stores. Mark took him at his word and suffered the consequences: big lines and three weeks of waiting until he could secure the iPad 2. Thanks Gene.
When it comes to understanding how the world doesn't work, Henry is our guy. His analysis and predictions are often better read as science fiction than science. And thus why we've modified his last name from Blodget to Blodgete, which happens to rhyme with machete. Because when it comes to the truth, Henry likes to slice and dice it to fit his world of make believe.
John “I Don't Watch Videos” Koetsier
John Koetsier is a writer. And he's an amazing one at that. He's run websites that have had millions of hits, and he has spoken at Conferences all over the world. The guy is simply a super-hero in Clark Kent clothing. But on occasion, he might miss a few things and not know exactly what he's talking about.
John wrote an article based on another article of Jim Cramers funny and sarcastic take of how "bad" Apple was doing. In reality, Cramer was making fun of investment firms and analysts opinions of anything Apple was doing was "bad." It was sarcasm to the hilt. Unfortunately, it appears John didn't watch the video, choosing instead to just read an article on the video (which doesn't mention the sarcasm), and thus wrote a serious piece on how Cramer was shredding Apple.
But hey, even Superman married Margot Kidder in Superman II, so no one's perfect.